For as long as I can remember, I’ve been concerned with my body image. I have memories from elementary school (maybe 10 or 11 years old) where I would read the nutrition facts on the side of the granola bars to see how many calories I was going to consume and would feel guilty if I ate more than one.
Fast forward a few years to high school, when my parents paid for private shooting lessons (I was a competitive rifle shooter ages 9–22) and the coach started teaching me about the quality of the food I put in my body and incorporating weightlifting into my routine. I dove headfirst into learning about nutrition and began eating “clean” foods. As time went on, I lost weight and became more obsessed with my “food rules” to lose even more, leading to severe anxiety around eating.
I would turn down any social situation that involved going out to eat and always packed food when I didn’t know where I was going to eat. I was so focused on having that picture-perfect body that I let go of other aspects of my life. I began drifting away from my friends, I stopped going to social events and family events, and my body even started failing. My hair was thinning, my menstrual cycle stopped, I was cold all the time, and my anxiety was at an all-time high.
One day, my mom convinced me to see a nutritionist, however, she took me to the children’s hospital where I was evaluated by a psychiatrist and diagnosed with an eating disorder. I spent the next 2 years in therapy where I learned to change my relationship with food and my self-image.
Eight years post therapy and I still work on my relationship with food and self-image every day. Boudoir is one of the ways I’ve made progress with my growth and development. It helps me see myself from a different light and embrace the body I have for what it is and what it can do.
The way we see ourselves in the mirror can be distorted from what is there and boudoir shows you the real version of yourself. Boudoir is a safe space to embrace your stretch marks, cellulite, and other insecurities while also highlighting your favorite parts of yourself. It is basically the closest thing to buying happiness, especially for someone struggling with body image and self-love. Do yourself a favor, and book yourself a boudoir shoot and get ready to feel like a BADASS.
Carmen Fry <3